How do you……

Induce labor in a mare?   Take a nap.

Cure equine constipation?    Load them in a clean trailer.

Cure equine insomnia?    Enter them in a halter class.

Get a horse to stay very calm and laid back?     Enter them in a liberty class.

Get a horse to wash their own feet?    Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.

Get a mare to come in heat?    Take her to a show.

Get a mare in foal the first cover?    Let the wrong stallion get out of his stall.

Make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted?    Sell her before she foals.

Get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch?    Get him out late at night or anytime no one is a round to see him.

Induce a cold snap in the weather?    Clip a horse.

Make it rain?    Mow a field of hay.

Make a small fortune in the horse business?    Start with a large one.

This is one of those things that has been shared around the internet a lot without attribution.  If anyone knows who wrote this, please let me know,  I’d love to give credit.